Growing up Bilingual: An 80/20 kid’s perspective

“SALAM...ALLOH... SALAM... ALLOH...ALLOH?...AMOO?…AMERIKA, SALAM” - that is all me and my brother needed to hear to know that our parents were on an international call.   Once a week my parents would call their families in Iran and shout updates into our fixed landline. The minute we would hear the 3rd “SALAM” we knew it would be only a matter of time until we would have to get on the phone and say hello to our relatives, in Farsi. We dreaded this. 

Recently I wondered why we dreaded these calls so much. It was not a matter of not wanting to speak to our international relatives, it was more that these calls were essentially an unscripted language recital - we had been learning and practicing Farsi for these moments. We knew we were going to be evaluated on: Our accent (or lack thereof), vocabulary and the substance of our updates all while performing in our loudest voice possible. Every so often your parents would help with some words or mouth “LOUDER” mid-performance, but for the most part you were on your own. If you left the call successfully able to execute “I AM IN 2ND GRADE AND OUR IGUANA KAREEM ABDUL- JABBAR HAS BEEN MISSING FOR 2 DAYS” without fumbling your tenses, your portion of the program would be viewed as a success. My brother would generally average a solid 90 on these calls,  I an 80. I still blame stage fright.

Tips from an 80/20 kid:

Speaking a second language that isn’t your native tongue can be intimidating. Not only for children, but also for adults who are still working on fine tuning their language. To ensure we all have a safe place to practice our second or third language I have gathered up a list of the 3 types of people you may encounter on your language journey & tips and tricks on how to deal with them:

*Please note, this is not limited to Farsi, it can also be applied to: any language, dancing, puberty and pretty much anything about being a kid/teenager...and frankly a mid-30’s working professional.   

The Pacifist: If you come into contact with this kind, you are in good hands! They are a “safe space”. They will never force you to speak Farsi, if you choose to speak Farsi they will be fully engaged and accept your slip ups for what they are. The Pacifist comes in all ages.

*Tips: The Pacifist is your friend!

The Dampener: This breed is generally a bit older.  They will likely be vocal about the mistakes you make, let you know how your accent sounds like a villagers and laugh when you accidentally refer to a priest as a raisin…This kind generally means well, but on an off day can send you straight back to only speaking English.

*Tips: I would encourage you not to be discouraged by this kind, they normally have a wealth of stories. This could be an opportunity to learn about the remote village they claim your accent is from. Mine if from an inaccessible mountain village in Turkey. So I have been told.

The Elitist: This is a tricky & rare breed - generally someone close to your age who speaks the language fluently. They are oddly territorial about their language and refuse to speak to you in anything other than your native tongue, either out of fear of muddling their pure form of the language or they truly believe that “you don’t deserve to speak this language”.

*Tips: These people kinda suck, but I would encourage that you keep speaking Farsi, it will infuriate them. It’s fun.

Merci for reading,

Neda